Lists and Nonlists

In spite of having two children who sleep reasonably well, I am unreasonably exhausted.  But my children are also wonderful and deserve to be documented, so here we go:

Walter

• The other night, he sang a "Daddy, I love you!" song, while flailing his arms and legs and poking Sean with a fork. This is pretty much what being two is all about.
• He says "Sally" now instead of "Tally." 
• Last week he started asking "Why?" He's been asking "Why not?" for quite a while.  I don't think he's entirely clear on either of those concepts, though.  Still, it feels like a milestone. 
• The day after Thanksgiving we broke out the play dough and he played for two hours straight.  He would have played longer if we hadn't stopped him and made him go to bed.  It was amazing.
• He loves to cook and bake with us.  He loves to dance and sing (at daycare he evidently spends a lot of time dancing and singing in front of the mirror) but he's also still quite shy (and, annoyingly, camera shy ... not a lot of good video lately.) He loves books and blocks.  He's kind of off puzzles, for the moment. His imaginative play is getting more and more creative; lately, he's been imagining all sorts of interesting scenarios involving cookies (cookies stuck on the ceiling. cookies being baked by spinning on the ceiling fan, etc.)

  

  Walter's amazing playdough flower

• He's constantly singing, either real songs or songs he's making up or fabulous itsy bitsy wheels on a happy birthday bus mashups.   He likes speaking nonsense language and making funny noises.  One of our favorite games is when I say, "Baby Sally says ..." and Walter imitates one of her noises (usually "Ah!")
• I spend a lot of time with Sally, so we're always on the lookout for ways Walter and I can have time together, just the two of us.  Walter calls this a "date-venture."
• Walter is incredibly bonded with Sean.  When he leaves the room, Walter runs after him saying, "Daddy, where are you?" 
• We decided to go low key on the potty training for now, because of all the transitions and upheaval in Walter's life (new sister, Mama who's been recovering from surgeries, etc.)  He's wearing pull-ups during the day and pees in the potty quite often at school and at home.  Not sure when or how we'll make the jump to big-boy undies.
• We've all had colds, off and on, the last few weeks.  Walter's had the worst of it, with very bad coughing fits at night.  But when I took him to see Dr. L, both tubes were out of his ears and both ears looked great ... no tubes and no infections.  This could mean he's grown out of his chronic ear infections and won't need tubes put back in.  Moreover, Dr. L said "You're doing an amazing job with him.  What a sweet boy!" He is indeed. 

Sally

Sally with her Aunt Nicole, standing 

The list format doesn't work well for Sally ... she just doesn't "do" as much as Walter does. But she does everything a three month old should do, and then some. She holds her head up, sits up (with some propping, of course) and jumps and stands while we hold her (she has amazingly strong legs.)  She rolls from her belly to her back and from her back to her side. 

She doesn't spend much time at all in the bouncer, so last night I tried putting her in it to see what she'd do.  She immediately figured out that she needed to kick the monkey or the toucan to make the lights and sounds turn on.  Tonight, while Sean was holding her, he made a whistling sound through his nose and she reached up and grabbed his nose.  She also reaches for her toes, and for my watch and my wristband, and most especially and fervently, my hair.  She does a lot of grabbing and pulling of my hair. It's wonderful. I love feeling how strong and persistent she is. 

I worry that we're not actively working with her on milestone type-things the way we did with Walter. But she seems to be progressing pretty normally and well.  What we lack in age-appropriate stimulation I think we make up for in adventures (more toddler than baby appropriate, usually, but she seems to really enjoy looking around and seeing new places and people) and lots and lots of face time.  She gets held and talked to a lot.  And cuddled a tremendous amount.  Any baby that gets cuddled this much is going to be just fine. 

She gets cuddled a lot at day care, in part because she doesn't eat while she's there.  They've made some progress on getting her to like and want the bottle, but still no actual drinking yet. I've been going in midday to nurse her and/or leaving work early so we can start the evening nursing early.  It makes me crazy with worry but everything seems to be fine: she's reportedly quite happy at day care, she's growing, she fills diapers.  She even sleeps through the night.  So we're OK, but I'm hoping she starts taking a bottle soon.

A friend asked recently about Sally's personality.  Again, it's hard to say, because hers is definitely evolving on a different level than Walter's.  She's very, very sweet.  She's snuggly and overall very happy.  She gives big smiles (no giggles yet, but I think that's coming next.) She's talkative and has a huge range of incredibly expressive sounds.  She startles easily when she's awake but can sleep through just about anything (this is a very good skill for a baby in our house to have.) She's curious and doesn't mind being held by new people, though she still has a preference for me (I'm the only one who can feed her, currently, so this preference makes a lot of sense.)  I feel very deeply connected to Sally, like she's still doing handstands on my left hipbone. 

The rest of us

• Hank is doing well.  He's mostly with us now after staying for quite awhile with my parents after Sally was born. His quality of life is much better when he's staying with them: more walks, more dog park, more on-time meals, fewer small children to fret over.  But he seems to love us, and God knows we love him.  Our house is sad and lonesome when he's not here, and Walter asks about him all the time, missing him.  He's a good dog. 
• Sean is tired, stressed out about our finances (two kids in daycare ... it is not a good thing, friends) and still managing to be the most wonderful parent and husband the world has ever seen.  Tonight I played with Walter so he got to hold Sally for awhile, which I think helped with the stress. 
• I am tired. I'm stressed, too, but more about having clothes to wear to work and less about finances. I'm surrounded by bins of clothes, hand-me-downs from my mom, which I could potentially wear if I ever have the time and energy to go through them.  I need to go shopping for some basic things and haven't had a chance to, yet.  And I'm not on great terms with my body.  I had a terrible gallbladder attack a month ago that sent me (and Sally, and a good friend from church) to the emergency room late at night.  That was followed by gallbladder surgery, which took place right after Sean's parents came to visit, we threw a big 2 year birthday party for Walter, and hosted a big celebration for Sally's baptism.  I found out that narcotic pain killers make me depressed (a fairly common thing, I'd imagine, for a depressant to do) and also that having an infected incision which then becomes an open wound in the middle of my chest does not help with the depression.  Today the wound is mostly healed and I am mostly feeling better. Depression is an odd thing for me, these days. I am full of happy hormones from nursing and general happiness from my interactions with my wonderful family and congregation and friends.  I laugh a lot, I genuinely enjoy myself.  But I can't shake the tired feeling, even when I get a good night's sleep.  And I feel ... frumpy.  Physical activity is probably the answer, and now that my incision is healing up, I'm thinking about ways to work on feeling better.

Key to the feeling better plan: spend as much time as possible with these goofballs

Wrote too soon ...

As soon as I finished my update last night, it needed an update. (Sigh.) Here goes:

Walter: rough night last night, complete with lots of coughing.  Good nap today, though, and in good spirits.

Sean: Pink eye.  No one likes having pink eye, but Sean tends to take it as a sign that the world and all its germs are out to get him, personally.  Paranoia and pink eye go hand-in-hand in this house.  And you'd better believe we are washing those hands, thoroughly and repeatedly with clean towels.  Fortunately (?) we get pink eye a lot in this house, and always seem to have extra eye drops on hand when one of us, inevitably, starts getting pink and pus-y on the weekend.  I predict Sean's eyes will be clear come tomorrow.

Me: Maintaining.

Sally: Enjoying the milkshake Mama just drank.

Hank: Sleeping on the couch.

We are not at our best, but we are fine.  And, if history gives any indication of future events, we will all rally for Sally's arrival.

Family Health Update

Life has gotten better for some, goopier for others.  Here's the scoop:

Walter is much, much better.  His hives are all cleared up, the pink eye is gone, and he's not coughing anymore.  He's all done with all four medicines.  We were able to stop the Benadryl on Sunday, and it was amazing the to see the immediate change (for the better) in his demeanor.  We got our sweet Walter back. AND, best of all: no ear infections. Tubes doing what tubes should do. What a relief!

Sean and Umma both caught Walter's bug and have been getting steadily sicker as the week goes on.  Bad cough, swollen throat, very tired.  No pink eye or hives (thankfully.) But prayers for healing are welcome.  No pressure, but these two have to be healthy by Wednesday or I'm going to be very lonely in that operating room.

I think Wednesday is going to be the day.  I have no idea if I'm progressing toward labor or not--Dr. M. doesn't do cervical exams for patients with planned c-sections because they sometimes hasten labor.  So I could be all dilated and effaced and what-have-you and not even aware of it, but I don't feel like labor is immanent. I keep reminding myself that the delivery on Wednesday will be bringing Sally into the world a week early, based on her due date. So, I'm hopeful that Baba will be able to come home from the churchwide assembly, Umma and Sean will have a few days to get better, and we'll all have Tuesday together to get last minute preparations done for Sally's arrival. 

On Tuesday night, the blue moon will rise. By the light of that astronomical oddity, we'll head to the hospital around 4 am or so on Wednesday, and by 8:00 am, we'll have a baby.

Maybe.  Again, it's weird to have this scheduled out.  I love schedules.  But I'm trying not to count my blue moon chickens before they hatch (whatever that means.)

My own health is mostly good.  It seems like my super immune system is successfully fighting off the household virus (being able to get tons of sleep and fluids and not being over worked and exhausted to begin with is probably helping with that, too.)  I'm very uncomfortable but able to sleep, at night and whenever I feel like it during the day, which is a huge blessing and feels like the best preparation for Sally's arrival that I could be doing right now.

I very much expected that, after a day or so of bedrest, my hemorrhoids and everything else would get completely better and I'd feel terrible about leaving work a week early.  Yet another example of mistaken expectations on my part.  It turns out that the pressure of the baby alone, without any help from me standing up or even sitting down (rather than lying down,) is enough to keep everything bad and, in fact, make it worse.

I'd decided not to worry about the bleeding hemorrhoids, so I was surprised when Nurse B. and Dr. M. were both worried about them.  Evidently, having something bleeding like that when you go into surgery isn't a great idea. But there's nothing we can do, not until the pressure lifts and Sally is born. So, they tested me for anemia (I am nowhere near anemic) and Dr. M. said that following up on the hemorrhoids will be important after the surgery--hopefully, they'll go away as soon as the pressure is off, but if they don't, another surgery will be needed.

I'm still not worried. But even I am getting grossed out by the situation.  Hemorrhoids, hemorrhoids, hemorrhoids.  Ick.

Sally is still measuring great, with a nice strong heartbeat and good levels of movement. I'm very attentive to her movements, these days.  They are balm to my over-anxious soul. I dreamed about her all last night ... I dreamed that she was born the size of a six-year-old, with a full set of teeth.  Terrifying, but I was pleased to note that she had my nose.

Hank the Dog seems to be doing fairly well, although his soul is a bit over-anxious, too.  He camps out on the couch and keeps an eye on me all day.  We've been having work done on our basement (yes, the timing could be better. merp.) and barking every time the workers open or close the front door has kept him quite busy.

It's been quite a week!

How's the family?

It's Edison-Albright family update time!

We are doing pretty well, all things considered. We still have our snow shovel sitting on the front porch, but I think that's less because of household upkeep neglect and more because Sean isn't convinced we won't get one more big snow. Being able to get out into the world and take walks together as a family has improved life for all of us.  We sing songs, we scout for bunnies, we name things ("tweet tweet!" "truck!" "Baba house?") we say "hi" to neighbors and neighbor dogs. The neighbors are mostly too busy to say "hi" back, being very focused on their yard work.  We are not nearly so busy and focused.  I like that about us.

Here's a little more on each of us and how we're doing these days.

Hankee!

Hank the Dog continues to be a good and faithful companion and member of the family.  The change in the weather and more frequent walks have put a spring in his step.  We had a good check up with the vet who was very pleased with Hank's beauty, gentleness, and good overall health.  The broken leg that brought him into our lives three years ago is starting to give him some trouble, which we knew was going to happen.  For now, a daily glucosamine cookie and keeping him a little underweight seems to do the trick, although Hank isn't a huge fan of our efforts to keep him thin and trim. In human years, Hank would be about the age of a college freshman, and he believes he has a right to the Freshman 15.  In dog years, Hank is still quite young but definitely not a puppy anymore.  He's pretty calm, he doesn't worry as much, he doesn't destroy and eat non-food items.  If we leave the kitchen garbage can out while he's home alone he still feels it's his duty to knock it over and eat all kinds of terrible things, but that's just a given.  He'll also steal crackers right out of Walter's hands, which encourages Walter to use his burgeoning verbal skills to say, "No, no Hankee." Walter and Hank love each other and it's funny how similar they are in some ways.  They both want everyone they love to be together, with them, all the time.  I guess that's not such an unusual thing to want, but Hank and Walt both take special notice of who is present and who is not present: Hank by "counting" (taking stock of all the members of his pack that he can see, then searching the house for anyone who might be missing) and Walter by naming, immediately asking for all the people he wants to see by name. As you can imagine, Hankee is frequently named, especially in the morning when Walter wakes up and sings and talks to himself in his crib.  Eventually Walt moves from practicing his favorite songs to calling for his favorite people. "Umma! Baba! Grandma! Pop Pop! Mama! Dada! Hankee!" Hank listens for this every morning and, when he's called, goes downstairs and sits outside Walter's door, sometimes bringing him a toy or a dog bone.  If we don't move fast enough to get Walt out of his crib in the morning, Hank comes and gets us, pressing his cold nose into our sleepy hands until we get up and follow him to Walt's room.

Dadu!

Walter wakes up between 5:45 and 6:30 every morning and usually he wakes up happy and chatty.  At 19 months old he's funny, communicative, shy/slow to warm when directly approached by strangers or in crowded places, increasingly confident and accurate in his singing, trying out three word sentences and experimenting with the possessive ("mine" "Mama ice cream" "Hankee ball.")   He loves bunnies.  Two of his favorite books are "I-am-a-Nummy" and "Mama Nummy.  Baby Nummy" (Runaway Bunny.) His favorite book is a collection of eight Curious George stories.  He likes flipping through the pages and looking at the pictures, naming everything he sees.  He especially likes the stories that include illustrations of bunnies. He'd read this book all night if we let him, so we've started giving him a two minute warning and telling him to choose a last picture to look at before we move on to another book. Expectation management is something we've had some really good success with and it feels like a big parenting win when we say, "One more and then all done" and he nods and repeats, with his pointer finger up to indicate "one": "One more. Ahhh-nahhh." Sometimes he still protests when we end an activity, but knowing the end is coming does cut down a lot on the angst and the whining.  There's a reasonable amount of both of those in our lives these days.  Sometimes it feels like we're really ramping up into some terrible two-ness, but we're guessing the worst of that is yet to come.  I sound fatalistic and doom-full, but really we're just trying to brace ourselves and keep perspective. Walter is strong in every way: his body, his mind, his will.  We are crazy proud and love this about him.  If the months to come are anything like these past few months, the joy and delight will outweigh the tantrums and meltdowns.  We'll figure it out together, whatever comes!

Dada!

When it comes to figuring it out and making it work, the family prize goes to Sean.  I've done a lot of traveling the last two months, leaving Sean at home with Walt and Hank.  I'm also pregnant enough that I've had to give up some basic Walt care things.  For example, Walter doesn't fit on my lap during bedtime story time anymore. Sometimes he sits next to me to read together, but more often he sits with Dada while I sit nearby.  Walt and his Dada have always been close, but that bond has definitely grown in significant ways since we weaned and started preparing for Sally's arrival.  A dear friend from the congregation said that, when her second child arrived, her first child and husband became inseparable. "From that time on, they were a pair," she said. For a Mama, there's a little wistfulness in that changing relationship, but mostly joy. So far, it doesn't seem like my relationship with Walt has suffered at all ... I think he has a big heart, which expands to include more love without diminishing his love for anyone else.  Walt takes after his dad in this way, and in many other ways.

Sean is doing pretty well, although he seems to have reached the "aaghgahaghahh falling apart" phase of the pregnancy.  We've decided that strange health problems for the dad are just part of the way we do pregnancy in this family.  He's OK, but tired.  With any luck, he'll get some good sleep next week while he's away for his yearly training for work. [*Edit*: Sean just called to tell me his training was cancelled. Figuring out if he can get to the one a week later, now.  Life is exciting.]  We hope for that every year, but the training usually isn't particularly restful, what with the stress of travel and the exhaustion that only sitting and listening to people talk for hours can bring. Last time Sean went for training while I was pregnant, this happened.  This time, we're prepared: Baba is coming to stay and help me take care of Walt and Hank while Sean is gone.  I'm not quite resilient enough to parent solo these days.

Mama!

That said, I'm doing pretty well.  I really look pregnant these days, but I'm not as swollen and huge as I was at this stage with Walt. The heartburn is bad but usually not unbearable and I have some coping techniques that are working pretty well.  My favorite of these is the ice cream, prescribed by Dr. M.  "You need to increase your intake of carbs," he said, "Specifically ice cream." I didn't think it was going to work, but it did.  I started gaining weight, staying hydrated, getting hungry, sleeping better and I stopped throwing up.  Ice cream is awesome.   My energy improved with the ice cream diet, too, but I'm starting to slow down as we transition into trimester three.  I have good, productive days and I have days where I move slowly and not very well.  I get hazy and my words get mixed up, which is always exciting for a pastor and her congregation.  But my congregation is familiar and comfortable with my humanity, so it's OK. I'm trying to live for today and not worry too much about the further pregnancy-related debilitation to come, but if you know me you know that I'm not very good at that.  Still, I have been pretty successful, especially during my travels, at taking time to enjoy this pregnancy, to sit and do nothing but pay attention to Sally and her movements, to talk to her and give her a gentle in-belly hug and rub.

Tally!

Sally seems to be doing very well indeed. She's becoming a good mover, especially at night around 10:30 or so. I love her bumps and rolls, her rhythmic tap tap tapping.  I think she may be musical, already.  Dr. M. and Nurse B. are pleased with her growth and her strong heartbeat.  After our 7 month appointment coming up (complete with glucose test ... blech) we'll be moving to appointments every two weeks, which is exciting and nerve-wracking and wonderful.  I'm looking forward to getting to hear her heartbeat more often and to transitioning into the imminent arrival part of pregnancy.  Of course, we have a lot to do to get ready for our Sally bug.  But, at this point, even that is more exciting than stressful.  I'm starting to imagine our growing family in a new way, in a way that feels more real and close.

I felt like I knew a lot about Walter when he was in the womb.  I got a sense of his personality right away: I just knew that he was strong, and boisterous, and big in every way. I don't have as strong a sense of that with Sally, or rather, I think I might, but I'm second guessing myself much more than I did with Walter.  I'm unsure in part because I don't want to just compare her to her brother, and I don't want to make assumptions about her because she's a girl.  But I think it's fair to say that Sally is very sensitive to her womb-environment in ways that seem remarkable to me: during our ultrasounds, she's been tense and jumpy when I'm tense and jumpy, and then she calms down as soon as I calm down.  I've noticed this with her movements, too. It makes me anxious about exposing her to my anxiety (which is self-defeating, clearly.) It also makes me curious to see if this will continue after she's born, and I'm excited to watch her grow and see how she interacts with the world around her.

We're doing well these days, we Edison-Albrights.  Our yard is unruly, but the bunnies prefer it that way.  And we enjoy every bunny that hops our way!

"NUMMY!!"