Dateventure!

Walter and I had a wonderful dateventure yesterday.  It started with picking him up from daycare. This in itself is unusual, because generally Sean does the daycare drop offs and pick ups, or I just get Sally and he gets Walter. Walter is in Room 5, the 2-3 year-old room. When combined with Room 6 (the 3-4 year old room) at the end of the day, it has a real Lord of the Flies kind of vibe.  That's probably a bit of an exaggeration.  The teacher is there and well in control of the situation, but I'm just sayin' ... it's a situation.  It's amazing how big kids' personalities get when they hit 2.

Walter is a bit of a personality himself, of course.  But he was on especially good behavior last night, or maybe he's always this polite at daycare? It was neat to see him interacting with his classmates and his teacher.  He was just finishing his snack when I came in.  He greeted me warmly, showed me his graham cracker crumbs (neatly placed on his napkin) and finished drinking his milk (regular cup, not a sippy.) He then got up from the table and cleaned and cleared his space.  After throwing away his trash he went over to the sink to wash his hands.  There was an older girl there kind of playing in the sink and he very politely said, "Excuse me, please." After she moved away he turned on the water, got soap from the dispenser, washed his hands, got a towel, dried his hands, and then threw the towel away.  He did all of this by himself, with no one telling him what to do. Impressive!

His teacher asked if I wanted her to change his diaper; definitely, yes. She took him to the bathroom (it has stalls! And kid sized toilets!) and he peed in the potty, standing up.  After washing his hands again I helped him with his coat, and just when I thought I couldn't get any more proud, he called out to his teacher, "Bye bye!  Thank you for the crackers!"

We went out into the cold, clear night (it was 5 pm.  But winter is here, and it is ridiculously dark all the time.) Walter likes to spot the moon, and I showed him Venus, nice and bright in the sky. I told him to look for it while we were driving, which meant he spent most of the 30 minute drive to Waupaca asking me where the moon was (it was behind us.) I was a little nervous about driving in the dark with all the deer and ice and whatnot, but we made it to Culver's just fine.

Walter associates Culver's very strongly with the word "date." I think he might think a date is a trip to Culver's, actually.  This started when I was pregnant and an outing to get some custard was often my answer to good mom-son time.  No custard this time, but he did get a chocolate milk, chicken tenders, and fries. I didn't get fries with my fish sandwich, so he shared his fries with me ... dipping each one in ketchup before giving it to me.  I gave him a two minute warning when it was time for us to start getting ready to go; he thought about resisting (I can pretty much see his thoughts, especially when he's thinking about doing something two-ish) but then changed his mind and asked me to set a two-minute timer on my watch instead.  He prefers that his transitions happen with beeps.

We got to the church just as the concert was starting.  It was a Christmas concert for a band that our friend E. plays drums in.  Our friend J. was handing out programs, and our friend D. had saved us the perfect seats: in the back, where Walter could stand on a chair and easily move in and out of the sanctuary.  For the first 30 minutes of the concert, though, he just snuggled in my lap, listening to the music.  I thought he might fall asleep (the concert started at 6:30, so it was a definite possibility.)

When the banjo came out, though, he sat up and took notice.  He stood on the chair to see and did some squirming around.  I took him out to to the narthex to get some water and exercise. We spent a good bit of time looking at their big nativity scene and talking about the different people in the scene (he likes calling baby Jesus "angel" ... I think he's conflating Jesus with a winged garden cherub that sits outside one of our neighbor's houses.) He watched with interest as the church's kids choir lined up and got ready to join the band for the last two numbers.  He did some great dancing, including a move that looked a lot like yoga and which, I found out during a conversation with Walter on the ride home, was, in fact, yoga (evidently one of his teachers is teaching the kids yoga ... this, my friends, is how you deal with an island full of wild two-year-olds.)

He waited very patiently until the last note was sung to pick out a cookie.  I got him some punch, too, and he was delighted to find it carbonated.  "That's soda, Mama!" We chatted with some friends, finished our cookies and soda punch, and headed back out into the cold, dark night.  No deer were harmed in the making of this dateventure, but boy oh boy did I white knuckle it all the way home.

When we got home it was quite late (9 pm) but Walter was hungry so he ate his leftover Culvers chicken and fries while I got reacquainted with Sally.  As he and Sean headed toward his room to start his bedtime ritual, I gave Walter a kiss and said, "Thank you for a great date."  "Thank you, Mama," he said. "Thank you for the chocolate milk.  Thank you for church.  Thank you for dancing.  Thank you for the cookie.  Thank you for soda!"  Just like that.  Putting aside my child's deep and abiding love of sugar and junk food, you gotta admit, that's pretty sweet.

It was an awesome dateventure.  And everything went really, really well.  But even if it hadn't, it would have been Mama/Walter time, just the two of us.  And we both need that; it's clear we do.  Tonight Walter asked me to play with him after dinner, and I can tell he's starting to see me as more available to him again.  He's seen and touched my "owie" (the gallbladder incision that's finally healed) and is satisfied that I'm OK.  And it's true.

I'm looking forward to the next dateventure, wherever it may lead.

Baba would like me to add ...

... that Sally is also industrious and focused.  When she's looking intently at what she wants she'll often reach and try very hard to get it, all with a serious look of concentration.

I. want. my. toes!

I had such a nice time with Sally last night.  She played and played with her Eric Carle sensory overload ladybug.  A couple times I tried to help her hold it and she gave me this perfect, "I've got this, Mom," look.  After playing very hard and with great effort, she demanded nursing (lot's of her little indignant "Eh!" noises until I figured out what she wanted.)  Then she fell fast asleep, almost comically fast. I enjoyed holding her for awhile. I took her up to the bassinet in our room and she woke up gently, happily.  Sean was putting Walter to bed and I saw an opportunity for a bath, which she definitely needed.  It has been a few weeks since I've been able to get in the bath with her, because of my open incision, so this was a treat for both of us.  I marveled at how strong she was: sitting straight up the whole time, with just a little gentle balancing from me. We had a very nice time.  While I was drying her off, she started to fuss (it was when I put the little hood of the towel on her head.) "It's not a hat!" I said, and did a silly dance.  She smiled and stopped fussing. I got her dry and lotioned and diapered and dressed.  We nursed and she fought sleep a bit.  She had an inexplicable crying fit, which happens sometimes.  I held her and after some serious crying she calmed down, nursed some more, and snuggled in my arms for awhile. She gave me the most wonderful little smiles.  She wanted to go to sleep, so I put her in the bassinet (still a little awake) and she went to sleep pretty quickly.  She slept through the night (about 9 hours straight) and woke up slowly, happy and calm.   More smiling and nursing this morning, and a happy baby off to daycare.  I'll go and nurse her in an hour before heading into work.  

It wasn't unusual, this evening, night and morning with Sally.  This is pretty much how it goes. But it's worth writing down, because I want to remember!  Seeing her sit up so well during our bath reminded me that she is changing so fast.  I'm savoring her babyhood as much and for as long as I can. 

3 month retrospective

Sally Sleeping, 1 day

Sally Sleeping, 1 month

Sally Sleeping, 2 months

Sally Sleeping, 3 months

Sweet, smiley Sally. 3 months old!

No such thing as a complete list

A couple more ...

• Walter is obsessed with Curious George, in all forms, but particularly the TV series. We're still trying to limit his screen time, but sometimes it really does help to have him stationary while we're getting meals ready, etc. Today he and I watched a short video on the pbs.org website meant to reassure parents that watching Curious George is actually good for kids and their science/engineering learning. I'm not super convinced, but Walter has been showing more curiosity-driven, George-like initiative lately.  For example, he was playing in the kitchen and found the potato masher.  He studied it for awhile and decided he'd like to make some apple sauce.  He spotted some apples up high on the pass through to the kitchen.  He'd climbed up on the pew and was on his tiptoes reaching for the apples (still holding the masher) when Sean noticed what he was doing.  Kind of scary, but also pretty awesome. 
• Re: Sally's personality, I'd add that she's patient and trusting.  When she wants something she looks for signs that she's going to get what she wants, and if she sees those signs, she doesn't cry.  She's also started indicating what she wants by looking in the direction of the object desired.  She'll look pointedly over my shoulder at a book until I pick it up and show it to her.  Today, while we were nursing at daycare, she saw the kids from the adjoining room come in from a walk in their super stroller.  She sighed and then turned and looked longingly at the stroller in her room.  When she's hungry and I pick her up to nurse, she "looks" so intently that it's more like a headfirst dive in a bosom-ward direction. 

Lists and Nonlists

In spite of having two children who sleep reasonably well, I am unreasonably exhausted.  But my children are also wonderful and deserve to be documented, so here we go:

Walter

• The other night, he sang a "Daddy, I love you!" song, while flailing his arms and legs and poking Sean with a fork. This is pretty much what being two is all about.
• He says "Sally" now instead of "Tally." 
• Last week he started asking "Why?" He's been asking "Why not?" for quite a while.  I don't think he's entirely clear on either of those concepts, though.  Still, it feels like a milestone. 
• The day after Thanksgiving we broke out the play dough and he played for two hours straight.  He would have played longer if we hadn't stopped him and made him go to bed.  It was amazing.
• He loves to cook and bake with us.  He loves to dance and sing (at daycare he evidently spends a lot of time dancing and singing in front of the mirror) but he's also still quite shy (and, annoyingly, camera shy ... not a lot of good video lately.) He loves books and blocks.  He's kind of off puzzles, for the moment. His imaginative play is getting more and more creative; lately, he's been imagining all sorts of interesting scenarios involving cookies (cookies stuck on the ceiling. cookies being baked by spinning on the ceiling fan, etc.)

  

  Walter's amazing playdough flower

• He's constantly singing, either real songs or songs he's making up or fabulous itsy bitsy wheels on a happy birthday bus mashups.   He likes speaking nonsense language and making funny noises.  One of our favorite games is when I say, "Baby Sally says ..." and Walter imitates one of her noises (usually "Ah!")
• I spend a lot of time with Sally, so we're always on the lookout for ways Walter and I can have time together, just the two of us.  Walter calls this a "date-venture."
• Walter is incredibly bonded with Sean.  When he leaves the room, Walter runs after him saying, "Daddy, where are you?" 
• We decided to go low key on the potty training for now, because of all the transitions and upheaval in Walter's life (new sister, Mama who's been recovering from surgeries, etc.)  He's wearing pull-ups during the day and pees in the potty quite often at school and at home.  Not sure when or how we'll make the jump to big-boy undies.
• We've all had colds, off and on, the last few weeks.  Walter's had the worst of it, with very bad coughing fits at night.  But when I took him to see Dr. L, both tubes were out of his ears and both ears looked great ... no tubes and no infections.  This could mean he's grown out of his chronic ear infections and won't need tubes put back in.  Moreover, Dr. L said "You're doing an amazing job with him.  What a sweet boy!" He is indeed. 

Sally

Sally with her Aunt Nicole, standing 

The list format doesn't work well for Sally ... she just doesn't "do" as much as Walter does. But she does everything a three month old should do, and then some. She holds her head up, sits up (with some propping, of course) and jumps and stands while we hold her (she has amazingly strong legs.)  She rolls from her belly to her back and from her back to her side. 

She doesn't spend much time at all in the bouncer, so last night I tried putting her in it to see what she'd do.  She immediately figured out that she needed to kick the monkey or the toucan to make the lights and sounds turn on.  Tonight, while Sean was holding her, he made a whistling sound through his nose and she reached up and grabbed his nose.  She also reaches for her toes, and for my watch and my wristband, and most especially and fervently, my hair.  She does a lot of grabbing and pulling of my hair. It's wonderful. I love feeling how strong and persistent she is. 

I worry that we're not actively working with her on milestone type-things the way we did with Walter. But she seems to be progressing pretty normally and well.  What we lack in age-appropriate stimulation I think we make up for in adventures (more toddler than baby appropriate, usually, but she seems to really enjoy looking around and seeing new places and people) and lots and lots of face time.  She gets held and talked to a lot.  And cuddled a tremendous amount.  Any baby that gets cuddled this much is going to be just fine. 

She gets cuddled a lot at day care, in part because she doesn't eat while she's there.  They've made some progress on getting her to like and want the bottle, but still no actual drinking yet. I've been going in midday to nurse her and/or leaving work early so we can start the evening nursing early.  It makes me crazy with worry but everything seems to be fine: she's reportedly quite happy at day care, she's growing, she fills diapers.  She even sleeps through the night.  So we're OK, but I'm hoping she starts taking a bottle soon.

A friend asked recently about Sally's personality.  Again, it's hard to say, because hers is definitely evolving on a different level than Walter's.  She's very, very sweet.  She's snuggly and overall very happy.  She gives big smiles (no giggles yet, but I think that's coming next.) She's talkative and has a huge range of incredibly expressive sounds.  She startles easily when she's awake but can sleep through just about anything (this is a very good skill for a baby in our house to have.) She's curious and doesn't mind being held by new people, though she still has a preference for me (I'm the only one who can feed her, currently, so this preference makes a lot of sense.)  I feel very deeply connected to Sally, like she's still doing handstands on my left hipbone. 

The rest of us

• Hank is doing well.  He's mostly with us now after staying for quite awhile with my parents after Sally was born. His quality of life is much better when he's staying with them: more walks, more dog park, more on-time meals, fewer small children to fret over.  But he seems to love us, and God knows we love him.  Our house is sad and lonesome when he's not here, and Walter asks about him all the time, missing him.  He's a good dog. 
• Sean is tired, stressed out about our finances (two kids in daycare ... it is not a good thing, friends) and still managing to be the most wonderful parent and husband the world has ever seen.  Tonight I played with Walter so he got to hold Sally for awhile, which I think helped with the stress. 
• I am tired. I'm stressed, too, but more about having clothes to wear to work and less about finances. I'm surrounded by bins of clothes, hand-me-downs from my mom, which I could potentially wear if I ever have the time and energy to go through them.  I need to go shopping for some basic things and haven't had a chance to, yet.  And I'm not on great terms with my body.  I had a terrible gallbladder attack a month ago that sent me (and Sally, and a good friend from church) to the emergency room late at night.  That was followed by gallbladder surgery, which took place right after Sean's parents came to visit, we threw a big 2 year birthday party for Walter, and hosted a big celebration for Sally's baptism.  I found out that narcotic pain killers make me depressed (a fairly common thing, I'd imagine, for a depressant to do) and also that having an infected incision which then becomes an open wound in the middle of my chest does not help with the depression.  Today the wound is mostly healed and I am mostly feeling better. Depression is an odd thing for me, these days. I am full of happy hormones from nursing and general happiness from my interactions with my wonderful family and congregation and friends.  I laugh a lot, I genuinely enjoy myself.  But I can't shake the tired feeling, even when I get a good night's sleep.  And I feel ... frumpy.  Physical activity is probably the answer, and now that my incision is healing up, I'm thinking about ways to work on feeling better.

Key to the feeling better plan: spend as much time as possible with these goofballs

More for the baby book

Tonight Walter "read" his first book cover-to-cover. He wasn't actually reading, but he figured out the whole thing from memory and from the pictures. It was Eric Carle's Brown Bear, Brown Bear. It's got a great rhythm to it, which helps with the toddler reading skills. "Brown bear, brown bear what do you see? I see a red bird looking at me." Etc. When he got to the black sheep page he took a little break to sing "Baa baa black sheep" in its entirety, before returning to the book.

Also, yesterday I held Walter and Sally in my lap and read to them.  After we'd been sitting together for a long time I looked down and noticed that Walter had, at some point, very quietly and gently taken baby Sally's hand in his. I didn't say anything about it, because it wasn't for me that he was doing it.  He loves his little sister even when I'm not looking.

Watching Walter, watching me

Sean caught a moment on camera tonight that calls for longer captioning. The photo is of Walter and my dearest Audrey.  They're dancing and singing along to Great Big Sea, "Donkey Riding." In the following frames Walter is looking at Auds and fully engaged with her.  Here, though, he's looking at me.

A couple of times this weekend I watched Walter watching me, and I could see from the look on his face that he was watching me be happy. I've been depressed lately ... it's a long story involving my gallbladder, of all things, and I'll write it out some other time.

I didn't realize how sad I'd been, and how good and remarkable it is to be happy. Not until I saw him see me. It made my heart ache for my sensitive little boy, and it made me glad for shared moments of joy and for friends like Auds and Curt who make those moments possible.

Tomorrow is Sally's first day at day care and I'm dreading it. But having this wonderful weekend helps. Tomorrow is a new adventure in a series of recent adventures, some of which have not been particularly fun (again, gallbladder.) Tonight, though, I'm going to bed feeling glad.