"Jesus wants me to go potty" and other Christmas stories

We have had some good, good holidays. Sally, who has been non-stop sick for who knows how long, rallied for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (before immediately falling headlong into the next upper respiratory infection.) We spent Christmas Eve at church, with our now-traditional soup-and-sandwich meal between services and the magical mixture of small children and open flames in worship. Sally wore a fierce hand-me-down black velvet suit and stomped/sashayed around the halls of Redeemer with the confidence of a tiny CEO.  Walter knows all the words to every Christmas song, and I think I caught him singing along with the congregation on one or two. We got into our Christmas Eve pajamas (at first, Walter was disappointed ... JUST pajamas? We explained that all other presents would come the next day) and set into serious Santa-related work. Before he went to bed, Walter spontaneously and genuinely thanked me for the pajamas, and made some statements of questionable theology/mythology:

"I think Jesus wants me to go potty, now. He will be so happy!"
"I think Santa will like that I'm wearing these pajamas.  WE SHOULD READ THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS!  He will like that so much."

A friend asked how we decided to include Santa in our Christmas celebrations, and how we're navigating the potential confusion and problems that Santa can bring.  Honestly, we're figuring it out as we go along.  Santa is imaginative play for Christmas time; Jesus is real and central to our lives at all times. Thinking and talking about both requires that we engage our imaginations and dream about things we can't see. It may be a little confusing, but Walter already feels the difference.  And then there was this conversation, while he and I wrote his letter to Santa a few days before Christmas:

"Mama, are you Santa?"
(Unprepared) "Do YOU  think I'm Santa?"
"Yup!"
"Santa is a fun game to play, isn't it?"
"Yeah ... E. is Santa, too!" (E. is a girl from church; Walter has quite a crush on her.)

So, who knows. On Christmas Eve Walter was very excited about Santa, and seemed to have suspended disbelief almost entirely. We put out his letter with a plate of cookies, a plate of carrots, and an empty glass with a straw (we figured Santa would want fresh, cold milk.)  Sean reminded Walter that Santa wouldn't come until we were all asleep, and Walter, who resists bedtime with the brilliance of a thousand lawyers, very seriously said, "Well!" (pulls up blanket, lies down on pillow, smooths and arranges blanket around him,) "Well, we should go to sleep right now, then!"  Sally went down pretty well, too, happy to be able to breathe for once and excited by all the excitement around her.  She said "Santa!" a few times that day, delighting us all.

Kids in bed, the adults in the house went to work.  Umma and Baba worked in their room in the basement, Baba adding another experience to his long, illustrious career of assembling complicated toys on Christmas Eve night (this year: an easel.  So wonderful!)  I cleaned up the living room and made space for the new toys: a dollhouse handed down from a family in the congregation, the easel, a chair for Sally, and more wrapped presents than felt seemly to me. It turned out not to be too much, I think ... the presents weren't all for the kids, after all.  But the sight of all of them that night gave me pause.  We decided to save stockings for our New Year celebration at Umma and Baba's house, to spread out the joy a bit.

I collected Walter's letter to Santa and replaced it with Santa's reply.  Here's Walter's letter, transcribed faithfully (with little to no leading) by me:

Dear Santa,

My name is Walter. I am three years old. My little sister's name is Sally and she's one. Mama's name is Mama. My dog is named Hankie and he went to the vet. Sally did some helpful things like coloring books and paper and a snowman (but it couldn't work.) My Daddy is named Sean; he's a helpful guy. I really like watching Winnie the Pooh. I like to do coloring books. My favorite colors are pink and purple.

For Christmas, I would like a purple blanket with my name on it, please. That's all.

Thank you for bringing me a present.

Love,
W (Walter's signature)

[You'll note that Hank's dinnertime trip to the vet was still fresh in his mind.  Not sure what the part about Sally and the snowman that couldn't work is all about. It was fun to record exactly what he said, knowing that this moment in his verbal expression is a fleeting one. ]

Here's Santa's letter:

Dear Walter,

Thank you for writing to me and for leaving such a delicious snack! I enjoyed the cookies and milk very much, and my reindeer loved the carrots.

You are such a good boy, and such a good helper! You are kind and loving. You are a wonderful big brother, too.

For Christmas I brought Sally a nice chair (she loves to sit on your chairs, I know!) For you, I made a special blanket that combines your two favorite colors into a pinkish purple, and it has your name on it! I also had my elves make something extra special for you, too. [Editor's note; a purple bath robe with Walter's name on it.]

Keep up the great work with your dry-all-day and good sleeping stickers! [Walter's eyes went wide and he gave a huge smile, at that line.]

Love, Santa

PS I found the jingle bell you wanted to give me. I love it. I left you one for you to keep and play with, too.

The kids slept in a bit on Christmas morning.  Baba was in place, ready with the camera, waiting for them to come into the living room and see everything.  I don't remember realizing, as a kid, how excited adults are about Christmas.  But we are!  It is so exciting for us. Walter and Sally came out and immediately started playing with the dollhouse together.  They moved over to the easel from Umma and Baba and checked that out, too, with great earnest concentration.  They found Sally's chair, which Walter thought should be his ("Purple is MY favorite color!") but they took turns sitting in it with no conflict throughout the day.  We got them sitting down and read Santa's letter.  Their attention, at the point in the day, was absolutely rapt.  Walter opened his presents from Santa and was utterly, totally delighted with both blanket and robe.  That probably would have been enough for presents, right there.

We took a break to make breakfast, Walter taking the lead on making the traditional Christmas morning puff pancakes.  They didn't rise very much (the chemistry is tricky) but they were tasty.  After breakfast we opened presents, and it was very fun.  Sally got a stuffed kitty, a box of little Frozen books, a set of self-inking stampers.  Walter got a stamp set, the Frozen soundtrack, and a huge roll of tickets with a star-shaped puncher for playing train.  I got a soda stream for making my own selzer! Sean got a year-long subscription to Field Notes, his favorite source for little notebooks for writing down story ideas.  I record this, not to revel in the materialism of the day, but because these gifts we gave and received this year to seemed to fit us especially well, and reflect who we are and how we like to play together.

We took a break for lunch and nap and there were still more presents to open (Walter had opened most of his at this point ... the adults were a little behind on our stacks.) We tried to open only one present at a time, giving our attention to each person while they were opening.  This broke down a bit as the day went on, but everyone was in good spirits. We had a wonderful dinner together and Umma and Baba headed home.

The next day, Sally started to get sick again.  Was that the pink eye? Or the bad cough?  It's all blurred together. She had a very, very sick and sleepless couple of days and nights before we gathered ourselves together and headed down to Umma and Baba's for Holidays Part II.  The change of scenery and the improved adult-to-kid ratio was exactly what we all needed, and by the time we headed home it was clear that Sally was truly on the mend this time.

Our days with Umma and Baba were filled with much fun and many firsts.  Walter watched "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" (animated, of course) for the first time, and enjoyed it.  We also broke down and rented Frozen, a little nervous about the scary parts and feature-length screen time, but we broke it up with an intermission, talked to him during and after, and it went really well.  Hilariously, Sally started saying, "Elsa" and singing, "Goooooo!" (Let it Go.) She went to the window, pointed at the bare grass outside and said, "Elsa. Snow. Snoowwww. Snow, please!"

The one-week-delayed stockings were a hit and a complete delight. (Walter, when we told him there would be stockings the next day: "I think Santa will probably just bring us some cookies. Because we already had a lot of presents, right?")  The little stocking presents, separated from the big and abundant presents of Christmas, brought Walter to great exclamations of joy. "A LITTLE PINK WHISK! LIPSTICK!" (that's what he calls lip balm, a standard Edison-Swift stocking gift.) "A COOMMBBBBB!"

Sally seemed to especially thrive these holiday days, even when goopy and pukey.  She tried to jump with us while we were playing xBox and ended up with this adorable stretch of joy.  She showed off her yoga moves and did lots of dancing and mischief making.  She also nursed. Constantly.  We had been getting pretty close to weaning, I think ... down to once or twice a day.  And then she got sick, and then it was all over. No more going to sleep on her own, no more cuddles that didn't involve nursing.  She was literally attached to me at all times.  Sally asking to nurse tends to escalate quickly from inquisitive, to conversational, to demanding, to panicked ... transcribed, it's something like this: "Mo? Mo mo mo mo mo. Mo?! MO MO!! MOHHHHHHHHH!"

Now that she's really feeling better, we're starting to ratchet down the nursing again, but it's hard on me to go through the painful process of my supply being too much again. My body is worn out from these past few weeks.  Walter asked, "When will Sally be done nursing?" I replied honestly: "I don't know.  Sally, do you think you'll be done nursing, soon?" "No!" she said, cheerfully, Definitively.

I love our nursing time together, but I trust that, as with Walter, Sally and I will still be close and snuggle when the time for weaning comes.  Figuring out when that time should be is tough, though.  It was easier with Walter, because around the time he started seeming ready for it I needed to wean anyway because I was pregnant with Sally.  Not sure how it'll happen this time around.

Sally's vocabulary is out of this world, and growing every day.  She says, "Walter" so clearly now!  She also sings, especially Twinkle, Row Row, Itsy Bitsy, Baa Baa and Let it Go.  She likes to count.  If you say, "one" she'll say, "two" and sometimes even "three."  She loves to say not just "no" but a very sassy little, "No way!" I think my favorite Sally pronunciation is "yocks!" for "socks" and "ishies" for "shoes."  Her smiles are just incredible, and she is very generous with them.  She's also been giving wonderful, whole-hearted, full body hugs and snuggles.  I thought they were just a symptom of being chronically tired and sick, but she's continued to give them even as she feels better. Baba tears up every time she lays her head down on his shoulder and gently pats his back.

He's had a rough day here and there, but Walter is doing very well overall.  He's stayed pretty healthy, which gives me hope for Sally. He is very earnest and serious sometimes, but also very silly and funny.  There's no way I could possibly keep up with all the wonderful things he says and does, but here are some recent examples:

"I didn't play Frozen today.  But I THINKED about Frozen all day."

I don't remember what exactly we were talking about, but it had to do with noses. After a bit, Walter chimed in. "While we're on the subject of noses ... I am going to get your nose!"

"I have no tinkle in my body."

Walter and I were lying in bed, watching a cooking show.  Suddenly, his head popped up and he scrambled off the bed and headed toward the stairs. "I need to go check on the roast!"
"Ok!" I said.  I worried about him slipping on the stairs in his socks. "Be careful!"
 "Because it's really hot, right?" he said. "It's OK, I'll just peek." And away he went.  He returned with a wooden toy fish, wrapped up in a string, roast-style (Sean tells me Walter wrapped a hot dog like a roast the other day. He's very proud of the roast that he made with Daddy for Christmas Eve.) I pretended to eat the fish and said, "It's so moist! I love the flavor." Head up again, scrambling down the stairs: "I forgot to add the flavor! There's no flavor in there.  I'll go get some lemon!"

While riding home from daycare, Walter observed: "Not all of these houses have chimneys."

Looking at photo magnet of the family when I was pregnant with Sally: "Was Sally just under your shirt, or all the way inside your body?  Why can't Daddies have babies in their bodies?"

Instead of a saying "reindeer," Walter often calls Sven from Frozen "Kristoph's reinSven." This is almost as cute as when he just tries to say Sven, which comes out as something like: "Fzvennmen."

He often has a signature phrase or word that we tend to then adopt as a favorite family thing to say.  When he was younger, there was the sweet and memorable, "How about that to you?" These days, he tends to add "right" to many things.  "We are going to see Henry today, right?" Me; "Right." Walter; "Right!"

Driving down to Umma and Baba's, we went over a bumpy patch of road. "Mama, are you OK? Did that hurt you?"  "I'm OK, Walter, the bumpy road doesn't hurt me anymore." "But it DID give you an owie. When we were going to get my haircut." I started to cry (it was dark, and I was in the front seat, so I don't think Walter could see) and Sean took over reassuring Walter.  The owie he's referring to happened over a year ago, two months after Sally was born, shortly after my gallbladder surgery.  We were excited to all get out of the house and take Walter for a much-needed haircut.  Sean took the speed bump at a fairly normal clip, but I was still so tender from the surgeries that it made me cry out in pain.  Walter kept asking about it, until finally we could show and reassure him that my owies had healed, and bumps wouldn't hurt me anymore.  But he still asks about it from time to time.  Last week we had quite a bonk during a hug, and I needed an ice pack right away to avoid getting a shiner.  This week, out of the blue one night, he asked, "Mama, are you doing better? After my head hit your glasses, how are you doing now?"

His empathy is a wonderful thing.  But it breaks my heart when he worries about me like that.

"A Daddy" by Walter, age 3

I had this hope/dream/vision that we'd put the kids to bed early on New Year's Eve and Umma, Baba, Sean and I would play a game of cards, or maybe dominoes.  Didn't happen.  Both kids were up late; Sally was pukey (this is what we do on New Year's.)  I miss doing grown up fun stuff sometimes ... not "partying" per se ... really, just board games, cards and dominoes.  But Umma introduced Walter to Memory and Candy Land, and he did beautifully with them.  Grandparents are the best at seeing when the kids are ready to try something new like that.  I'd been worrying about the lack of representational drawing in Walter's life ... he mostly does swirls and squiggles.  But then he started drawing "H" for Henry on his new easel (again ... grandparents) and I asked him to draw a flower and he did, and then he drew a person, "a Daddy," with a perfectly round head, wide-spaced eyes and a curvy smile.  He's getting smarter every minute, taking it all in and putting it all together.  He'll be playing Royal Rummy in no time.

With Sally, the change is even more profound, and I don't always recognize it, because she's physically so small, still (Walter is her height when he kneels) and, you know, she's My Baby.  But she's not at all a baby anymore, really.  She understands everything we say, not just the words, but the real meaning of what we say and how we say it, and what we're asking her to do.  She comprehends the world around her and how it works like a child does, not like a baby.

Two nights ago I was having trouble getting her to sleep and decided to try something new. I'd left her crying in her crib, walking out without talking to her/making eye contact/engaging ... this is a sleep training technique.  After she cried for awhile I went in and asked her if I could rub her back. "Yeah!" she said, catching her breath as her tears slowed down.  I started to lay her down in her crib and she screamed "No!" and stomped her feet. "Sally, it's Ok." I said. "It's just bedtime. You're safe, and we love you.  You're in your nice bed, with your baby doll and your nice warm blankie. If you lie down, I can tuck you in and rub your back a little bit.  Can you lie down on your belly for me?" I patted the pillow with my hand.  She thought about it, standing and clutching the crib rail, looking down occasionally at the pillow.  I patted the pillow again.  She decided to do it.  She let go of the side of the crib and lay down on her belly with her head on the pillow.  I covered her with the blanket and she snuggled in, smiling.  I started to rub her back and she popped her head up and said, "Itsy!"  What a good idea!  I sang, "The itsy bitsy spider" while doing the actions for the song on her back, and she loved it, snuggling under the cover and smiling and giggling a little.  When I finished, she asked me to do it again, and I said, "OK, I'll do it one more time. But then I am going to leave your room, and you are going to go to sleep."  She nodded.  I sang the song and sent the spider up and down her back. Then I ran my fingers through her her hair, said, "Goodnight, I love you!" and left. Her eyes were wide open, she was smiling; she did not cry.  It was a miracle!

We remember to explain things to Walter; we don't always do that for Sally.  But we need to, now, because she's ready for it. She's listening and learning and reasoning her way through the world at an alarmingly sophisticated level.  She wants us to try reasoning with her--if she chooses to be unreasonable, then fine: at least we gave her the choice.

Last night Sally skipped her "right after daycare" nursing and had a full night of playing and mischief-making.  By the time she looked at me and said, "Mo?" we both knew she was asking for bedtime, too.  "Nigh nigh?" I asked.  "Nigh nigh" she said, smiling, relieved. We nursed, and I let her linger there, until she fell heavy asleep in my arms.  How many more nights like this? I don't know, so I held onto her for awhile and she started to snore. I put her down in her crib and her snores didn't miss a beat.  Two nights ago, she was making independent sleep choices.  Last night, she was my baby again.  But of course, she is both.

We're all the cusp of things, these days.  We are not quite there yet but also there already.  Children have an innate, embodied understanding of eschatology.  The mysteries of the faith are made momentarily clear in them: these little miracles, these incarnations.  So, maybe Jesus does want Walter to use the potty.

He will (has been, is, and ever shall) be so happy!

Walter's conversation with Santa

Last year, Walter was excited to go see Santa, but too shy to say anything to him.  Since then, he's been preparing.

Santa: What's your name?
Walter: (very quietly) Walter
Santa: ?
Sean: Walter!
Santa: Hello, Walter! How old are you?
Walter: I'm three. (slight pause.) My birthday was in October.
(Santa and Walter chat quietly, and I can't quite make it out.  Santa must ask Walter what he wants for Christmas, because the next thing I hear is ...)
Santa: A candy cane?  Anything else?
Walter: Yes. A candy cane. (makes a pinching gesture with his fingers, just like I do when I say I want a snack.)
Santa: A big one?
Me: I think he's talking about the candy canes in the basket next to you.  He'd like one of those.  Can he have one?
Santa: Oh, of course!  Is there anything else you'd like for Christmas?
Walter: A purple blanket, soft, with my name on it. (This is what he's consistently been saying for weeks and weeks. I kept asking him thinking it would change, and it hasn't.  When we told Heidi today, she said, "Oh! Anna has one of those. A purple blanket with her name on it."  So maybe he saw it during our weekend in Osh Kosh in August?  Whatever the reason ... Santa is taken aback.)
Santa: I will get my elves working on that right away!  Do you ... want anything else? Are you sure?
(I break in, now, getting Sally into the picture and talking about how good both kids have been. Through all of this, I never noticed that Walter was very gently holding Santa's hand, the way he does with people he loves and trusts.) ***

Walter was disappointed that he didn't immediately get his blanket from Santa today, so we explained that it's going to take some time for the elves to make it.  On our way to the activity room, I said to Santa, "Pretty great request, huh?" Santa said, "That was definitely a first for me, yes!"

The blanket the elves were able to make turned out to be a little maroon, more than traditional purple, with violet letters for his name. I hope he likes it! Now ... to wait for Christmas!

***Edited later to add: Watching Baba's video of this, I remembered that at one point, Walter tried to reach past his sweater into his shirt pocket and said, "I have a gift for you, Santa."  I realized he was looking for a little jingle bell he'd found earlier the day and decided to bring to Santa as a gift.  I went to help him get it out but Baba shook his head and said the bell had been left at home. We promised Santa, and Walter, we'd put the jingle bell out with Walter's letter on Christmas Eve.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Sally Bug!

Dear Sally,

I think you enjoyed your first Christmas day.  It got off to a rough start: you woke up at about 5:30 and nursed well, but then threw up quite a lot of milk.  We got you and me cleaned up, you nursed some more and went back to sleep.  When Walter woke up you started to stir, too, and we all met up down in the kitchen to start making breakfast. Umma and Baba played with you while Walter, Daddy and I made puff pancakes.  I've been making those pancakes for Christmas breakfast since I was 14 years old and brought the recipe home from my jr. high foods class. It was fun to get your brother in on making them this year, and I could imagine you beating the eggs while he mixes the flour in years to come.

No longer safe!

You were interested in the baking, and especially interested in the eating ... you are watching us eat very intently these days!  And drooling! Daddy says you are starring in the movie Drooly and Droolia. That's a really good sign that you are getting ready to eat solid foods, and maybe even starting to get your first teeth.  Walter has been looking forward to getting to feed you your rice cereal, but you (and he) will have to wait a few more months.  In the meantime, we hold you with us at the table and let you watch ... you're getting a little too good at grabbing at things, though! We've almost lost a plate or two already.  When you get bored and frustrated with the table we let you play in the rainforest bouncer.  You are very serious about your playing and do an excellent job exploring all the different moving and sound-making parts. You are starting to do sits ups in it, though, so pretty soon we'll have to get you sitting up with us in the high chair.

After breakfast, you and I sat and nursed by the tree.  You were a little distracted by the beautiful lights, and also by me ... we like to smile at each other a lot, and sometimes that gets in the way of eating. I really enjoyed that quiet moment with you, before the present unwrapping began, just you and me and our little Christmas tree.

You love looking at the tree.

We unwrapped presents next.  You were really interested in the tissue paper from the gift bags and almost got to eat it a couple of times ... you are stronger and more persistent than I'd realized! You got many wonderful gifts, including a Mickey Mouse Club book from Walter (he helped me read it to you a few times that afternoon.)  We put you in your exersaucer and you immediately went for the teething flower, but then you turned your attention to the moving/noise making parts and had them all figured out within minutes.

You took a nice long nap on Umma while Walter, Daddy and I went outside to work off some of our excess energy and cabin fever.  It has been snowy and cold.  We haven't left the house much, which you don't mind as long as we keep you engaged with various activities.

As the day continued you had some bored moments and some colicky moments. Dr. L. says that colic is just you becoming aware of the world and not being entirely pleased with what you find. You had your four month well child check up on Boxing Day and Dr. L. was once again very pleased with you and your progress. Your stats: height: 24.25 inches (50th percentile); weight: 13 lbs, 7 oz (25th percentile); head circumference: 16.63 inches (90th percentile! Dr. L: "Her brain is taking off!")

You love your toes!!

It's taken me a week to write this post; today is your first New Years Day.  New Years and New Years Day tend to be pretty mellow for our little family.  And goopy.  Walter and I are both sick with a bad cold, and he just started antibiotics for an ear infection. He threw up at dinner last night which gave me a serious case of New Years Eve deja vu. You are a little congested, too, which makes you spit up now and then, but you are clearly doing quite well in spite of the spitting.  You are sleeping pretty well: you have taken up long afternoon naps, which makes our nights a little more difficult but I enjoy napping with you very much indeed.  You wake up happy, with big smiles and bright shining eyes. You are alert and very, very busy.  Most of your complaining these days is due to boredom; you approach every task (chewing on a teething frog, the activities in your exersaucer) with great intensity and focus.

Last night Daddy was trying to get your brother to sleep and Baba was trying to keep you entertained. He picked up Walter's toy helicopter--he'd discovered on Christmas day that you are very interested in the helicopter sounds.  He pressed the button to make the sounds and realized it was too loud--it would distract Walter from his bedtime routine.  So, he tried showing you the helicopter without making the sounds.  You reacted like you'd been pinched. HUGE scream, full-body sobs.  We comforted you and you settled down right away, but I have to admit ... it was pretty funny.  You are little, baby Sally, but you have big opinions.

You've got a good grip on me, baby girl.

Today we hung out around the house; you did good playing with Baba and very good napping with me. You grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go, which meant I didn't actually get much sleep, but somehow by the time you woke up I felt rested and better than I have in days.  You have a healing touch, I think.  In the afternoon we made pretzels, inspired by Walter's new favorite book from Christmas, Walter the Baker. They turned out beautifully and I think it'll be a new family tradition.  You watched us eat them with this look on your face like "I can't believe it.  They're eating again. Right in front of me! And they aren't going to give me any!!" Soon, baby, soon.  And, if we make them again next New Year's, you will certainly get a pretzel.

Now you are sleeping--rather lightly--in your bassinet. You are too big for it but we don't have your room and your crib ready, yet. I know it's time, maybe past time, to make that move, but I love having you close by.  You are growing up very fast, Sally Bug. To say "I'm loving every minute of it" sounds cliche and exaggerated.  You spit up right into my ear yesterday. For real. It was disgusting. And yet ... honestly, I do feel like I'm loving every minute, or at least very fully enjoying all the time I get to spend with you. And I love watching you enjoy life more and more, too.  You may be colicky and displeased with the world sometimes, but you are also delighted with the Christmas tree, fascinated by chewing, intrigued by the dog ... and today you laughed for the first time without tickling while you watched your brother dance.

Here's to 2014, Sally Bug!  It'll be a year of many "firsts" for you.  As your awareness grows, may you be increasingly pleased with all you discover!

Love,
Mama

It's almost Christmas!

Man, we are totally parents now.  For the first time, we're up late on Christmas Eve, getting everything ready for the kids for tomorrow. Crazy.  I love it.

Some things that happened tonight that I don't want to forget:

• Sally was totally into church tonight, really engaged for the first time with the music and the people and everything going on around her. She also chattered during the words of institution exactly the same way Walter did when he was her age.
• Walter and I smiled at each other during Silent Night.  It was really special.  I love seeing Christmas through his eyes this year. I'm loving this holiday much more than I ever have before. 
• Both services tonight featured children of the congregation (ages 11-30 something) singing, playing marimba, dancing, showing up as "unexpected" angels, serving communion, ushering, and just generally being leaders up front and all around. It was awesome.
• We had a fabulous dinner at church in between services: Italian wedding soup, grilled turkey breast sandwiches, all the fixins ala Sean.   
• Sally had a huge blow out during the service, and Walter threw up in the gym when I was running around with him too soon after dinner.  Keepin' it real. After the second service, a young mom said she was initially worried when her son was doing a lot of running around during worship. "But then I figured, Walter has run this way many times before." It's true.  

For your Christmas viewing pleasure

Videos!

First the new instant classic, "Christmas Bagel." Duet by Umma and Walter with embodied percussion.



Also, the slightly less catchy but still pretty fun "CHRISTMAS SONG!!!!" Solo with ukulele by Walter.


Finally, Baby Sally giggling, and Mama being amazed and pleased.

Because we need a little cuteness, right this very minute

This year, Walter is very intrigued by holidays. He watches with great interest as decorations in our neighborhood go up and down. He asks lots of questions and pays close attention to everything going on around him.

Saddest little robot since Marvin

He hated Halloween.  The only thing that saved it from being a total disaster was that we got to spend the day with best friend Henry and his family.  That part, he loved.  But really, he would have been happier if it had just been a normal day of visiting and playing at Henry's house.  Sure, he liked the candy eating aspect of it.  But the decorations and the costumes were way, way too scary. He still won't go to Walgreens because of a decoration he saw there. Our line to reassure him was, "It's just a toy."  Every time we pass Walgreens, now, Walter says, "Just a toy at the pharmacy? It all gone now?"

Christmas, on the other hand, is an entirely different story.  He was suspicious when the stuffed snowman replaced the scarecrow at daycare, and thought maybe he'd be scared of it.  But very soon he realized that this season is not a scary one, and he has embraced everything to do with Christmas--religious and secular--wholeheartedly. This has led to some really delightful moments and quotable quotes.

"Hi, Magi!"
Umma and Baba got Walter an Advent Calendar with magnetic pieces to put together into a Nativity Scene. He loves it.  The Advent Calendar one-piece-a-day aspect was a little advanced for him and quickly abandoned.  But he loves playing with the pieces and changing the scene around (he's especially fond of putting sheep up on the roof of the stable.)  My heart melted when he went to play with it recently and greeted his favorite characters with a very fond, "Oh hi, Magi!"  He knows all the key players and names them every time a creche crosses his path. He saw a picture of Curious George wearing a blue towel on his head the other day and gleefully proclaimed: "Mary!"

"Is there a LEGO in Santa's bag for me?" 
Walter's understanding of Santa is terrifyingly advanced.  One day he went to daycare with no knowledge of the jolly one; that afternoon he came home with just enough information to make him dangerous and hungry for more.  I'm being a little dramatic, but Walter's interest in Santa surprised me and Sean ... we hadn't figured out our Santa strategy, yet, and still haven't really codified it or anything. We think we'll encourage him to enjoy the Santa tradition and all the fun aspects of it without ever insisting that Santa is real.  Walter is great at imaginative play, so I think he'll understand that Santa falls into that category, too.

He hasn't directly asked for anything for Christmas, but he did ask Sean if Santa had a LEGO for him in his bag. Pretty brilliant, I'd say.  My plan was that Santa would just bring pajamas this year.  Obviously, Santa will be bringing pajamas and a very small DUPLO set.

What I was really unprepared for was this question: "Mommy, are you Santa Claus?" That one came during a time out.  I wasn't sure I'd heard him correctly at first but when I didn't respond he asked again, clear as day. My response: "Walter, you're on a timeout.  We'll talk when it's over."  He didn't ask again. The question itself doesn't worry me too much, because I have several good answers in mind. But I have no idea where the question came from.  I'm in awe of Walter's thought process.  I took a few moments of that time out to appreciate it, while simultaneously trying to figure out how I was going to survive another minute of the awful defiance and total lack of listening that led to the timeout.

"Walter get a present for Baby Sally?"
Something else I probably should have expected but that totally took me by surprise: Walter told us one afternoon that he wanted to get a present for Sally. Oh. Oh yeah.  Getting presents, we'd expected he'd be into that. Giving presents, presents that he got to choose and that really came from him ... that part we hadn't considered.  Since then, he's mentioned wanting to do it a couple of times, but he never wants to go to the store. I think I ruined it by suggesting Sean take him to Walgreens to shop. But they'll go to Fleet Farm tomorrow after daycare and brave the crowds to pick out some little things for Walter to give to us all.

"LOOK! Ribbons! Look! Our Christmas tree over there! Look, more pretty lights! They're bright a little bit! Look, a STARRRRR!"

Walter loves, loves, loves Christmas decorations. The patter of observation and appreciation is almost constant and always adorable. When he saw our tiny Christmas tree, at first he seemed unsure, maybe even disappointed.  "It's a little Christmas tree," he observed. After a minute or so of thought, he said, "I like it!" Since then, he's decided he really likes it, and he's let us know that, too.

Sean and I were talking today about how wonderful it is when Walter is really enthusiastic about things.  First thing Saturday morning Sean took Walter out on a bagel run, and handed him a fresh, still warm sesame seed bagel to eat in his car seat on the way home. "This is really, really good." Walter said. "This is so good! Did they make this for me?"  It makes me so happy every time Walter looks up at me and says, "I like it, Mama!" Last week he said it about the Cream of Wheat I microwaved for him, and I was like, yeah, I'm an awesome cook.  Rock on, Mama.

"OH! Jingle bells ..."
You will not be surprised to hear that singing composes a large part of Walter's Christmas enjoyment. He knows all the words to the chorus and first verse of Jingle Bells; two-year-old versions of the words, but they're all there and it's clear he's got most of it right.  He also does a beautiful "Away in A Manger" and "Silent Night," as well as many delightful Walter originals. The files are still cooking, but as soon as they're processed I'm going to post two new holiday favorites: "CHRISTMAS SONG!!" and "The Christmas Bagel."

I also hope to post a video of Sally giggling.  It's not the biggest baby giggle you can watch via the Internets, that's for sure.  But it's a sweet sound indeed to my ears.  Walter started giggling at just shy of three months, so I've been on the lookout for Sally giggles.  Last week I got her to give me a solitary "ha!" now and then, but on her actual four month birthday she bust out the actual guffaws.  Beautiful. We got a video of the second half of the first ever giggle fest ... mostly we managed to capture the sound of my laughter and raspberry-making-on-the-tummy which pretty much obscures Sally's little laughs, but it's a fun video if only for the look of pure parental pride and joy on my face, and the good-natured, patient little smile on hers.

So, stayed tuned. =)

It's been a rough week

Earlier this week, Sally and Walter started competing to see who could get the least amount of sleep.

Sally blinked. Or rather, slept.  Her worst night was Tuesday and it has been steadily getting better since then, though not back to the ridiculously wonderful 9-11 hours straight she was sleeping last week. She likes to kick Daddy out of bed in the morning and sleep for an hour or so in bed with Mama, taking up the majority of the queen-size bed for her little princess self.

So, Walter was like: "You lightweight! Greenhorn! Newbie! I could not-sleep you under the table. See? I've gotten so little sleep, I'm SICK. Take that! Ha ha ha haaaaacck cough vomit whimper sneeze cough cough."

Walter seems to have entered the eternal feedback loop of lousy sleeping (lousy sleep leads to sickness leads to more lousy sleep.) We're trying to get him to bed earlier (he is successfully resisting this) and taking him into the bathroom for steam treatments as needed.  But it looks like it might be a very goopy Christmas.

Sally turns four months old tomorrow; Walter 26 months the day after.  I don't know if she's really an easy baby or if being 4 months old is just that much easier than being 26 months old.  She gives us beautiful smiles and, very rarely, the hints of a funny little laugh.  While she's still finding her laughing voice, her yelling at us voice is quite developed, as is her pleasant chatting and her espresso machine imitation.  She is strong enough to ride front-facing in the baby bjorn and she's been using the exersaucer at daycare (spoiler alert: we're breaking out the exersaucer for her for Christmas.)  She's been doing pretty well at daycare. At first she wouldn't take a bottle, but now she does, though she still doesn't drink from the bottle as much or as well as Walter did at this age.  But she's growing: she's wearing 6 month clothes and I think she probably needs to move up to size two diapers.  Her face is filling out and she has a pleasant, solid heft to her that is very satisfying.  One of the highlights of my work days is going into Room 1 to nurse her at lunchtime.  

Sally seems to have gotten over her very strong aversion to hats. She likes touching our faces (as gently and lovingly as she is able with her developing muscle control.) She likes gnawing on our fingers, and we're pretty sure the first teeth are on their way in.  She likes books and toys and anything new ... most of all she likes watching and, more and more, directly interacting with Walter.  We're letting him play with her a little more, now, and she loves it.  Everything he does, she watches with great interest.

Walter "feeding" Sally. They love playing together! 

I expected that Sally would adore Walter.  Babies love older kids; they're fascinating.  What I didn't expect and what constantly takes me by surprise is how much Walter loves Sally.  It doesn't make any sense to me.  I mean, sure, she's completely wonderful and adorable and cute and cuddly, but I figured a two year old would be largely immune to that, especially since he doesn't really get to snuggle her as much as Sean and I do. And I would have thought the crying and the fussing and the taking Mama's attention would have been major strikes against her. (Walter did confide in Sean that Baby Sally's crying hurts his ears sometimes. Or, as Walt likes to put it these days, "Just a little bit.")  I guess I expect a toddler's love to be mostly conditional and entirely self-centered: love based on what others do for him.  But it's not.  Walter loves Sally just for being Sally, just for being part of the family.  I love the way he always includes her (and Hank) in his list of family members. "Walter and Mama and Dada and Baby Sally and Hankie!"

On a related note, tonight Sean offered to take Walter to the store to go Christmas shopping.  At first, Walter was excited, but then the tired sickies started to get him down.  "You and Mama and Baby Sally go to the store," he told Sean.  "Walter stay home. With Hankie."  Heh.

Walter loves to bake with me; we've made cookies twice this past week, it being Christmastime and all, and he's absolutely brilliant at it.  He can do everything: stir, mix, beat, crack eggs, measure, dump, fold, portion ... pretty much everything except put it in and take it out of the oven.  I am proud beyond words.  These days Walter also enjoys watching and reading Curious George (the same videos over and over and over ... gahhhhhhh) and building really awesome elaborate structures with blocks. He plays with my old Fisher Price doctor kit and does this great singing doctor routine: "This is gonna hurt a little bit ... You gonna feel betteerrrrrrr!" He loves to sing and play his ukulele, or any other instrument he can get ahold of.  Tonight he played the bongos using his maracas as drumsticks.

Walter kind of vacillates between being astoundingly mature for his age and genuinely fun to be with and being really typically difficult for his age and exhausting to be with.  The difficult days tend to coincide with lack of sleep. Recent studies show that consistent bedtime is the key to better behavior. In other news: duh. Breaking headline: Bite me, researchers. You get my kids to bed.

It's possible that I, too, would be better behaved with a consistent bedtime and more sleep.

Also, this happened. Least accurate depiction of the Holy Family, ever. But pretty fun, nonetheless.

 

"Hey! Watch out for those milestones!"

Sometimes I look at my giant, cooing baby and think, "How on earth did this happen?"  He's amazing.  Beyond his sheer size (weighing in at over one stone, for you measurement fans out there) Walter has gained so much these 2 months.  He's more adept with his hands and more coherently communicative every day.  The milestones are whizzing by and we barely have a chance to note them before we're on to the next big "first."

Holy roller!

This week we had a big one. On Tuesday morning I put Walter down on his activity mat for some tummy time and he immediately rolled over onto his back.  We blinked at each other for a few seconds, shocked. "That had to have been a fluke," I thought. "I must have given him a little push."  I picked him up and put him on his tummy again, grabbing a nearby camera to catch some of his impressive head-lifting.  And then he rolled over again!  This time there was no mistaking it: he'd gone from flat on his belly, to lifted up on his arms, to lifted up on one arm, a little push from that arm and ta daaaaa ... on his back.  Neither of us could believe it.  I gushed effusive congratulations; Walter smiled a bit, puckered his lips and said "Oh!"

I knew exactly what he meant. "OK!  Time to eat!" And it was.   Very effectively communicative, this boy.

Walter holding his own burp rag. Helpful!

On Wednesday morning I gazed at him expectantly, waiting for the next milestone to drop. "Mama?" I whispered hopefully. No doing. He wouldn't roll over again, either, preferring to crumple into a heap and wail every time he was put on his belly.  "Too much pressure!" he cried.  Very communicative, like I said. I put him down on his back in his play yard for a moment, hoping he'd doze off for a bit.  I put a burp rag down next to him, at the ready for pre-nap spitting.  Then I watched as he very deliberately grabbed the rag, brought it to his mouth, and spit up onto it.  "What a smart baby!" I said, very pleased.  Then he put the wet part of the rag into his mouth and started to suck on it. "What a ... good baby," I said, grossed out. "It must be time to eat!" And it was.  That's how all my stories end, I'm noticing.  You don't get to weigh one stone by sleeping through meals!

Oh, sleeping.  Speaking of milestones, Walter started sleeping 5-7 hours a night very early on, with a few bad nights here and there of constant waking and eating.  Now the bad nights have become the norm, maybe from not being swaddled anymore, or that cold he's still getting over, or maybe another growth spurt, or all of the above, or something else entirely.  He hasn't told us what's going on. All I know is that I'm glad today is my day off from work and I'm wondering how Sean is going to function at all at work today (my guess: sleepily.)

Tomorrow is Sean's last day at work before 6 weeks of paternity leave.  He'll be getting Walt's room ready (where Walt will sleep independently through the night very soon.  Yes, he will!) and gradually introducing the little guy to daycare.  That means more hours at the office for me.  I'm glad and looking forward to it--being a pastor is has become a big part of my identity, a part I missed dearly during maternity leave.  Our pediatrician is a fan of daycare, too: good for socialization, development, immunity, etc. In some ways, it's hard to think about having so few waking hours with Walt each day, and to know that Sean and I will miss many of his next "firsts."  But, just as I'm sure he will roll over again (or, you know, skip right to walking) I'm sure we'll make good and loving use of the time we have together, continuing to be amazed by our Scooter.

Pictures (lots of them, great ones) from Christmas are posted here. And now I'm off to put the baby on his tummy again!

Merry Christmas, Walter!

Walt's first picture with Santa ... at church. =)

Dear Walter,

Today is your first Christmas. You are taking a snooze in your swing right now, holding onto one of your monkeys ("Minky") which is a new skill and helping you stay calm and cozy when you sleep.  This has been a wonderful day!

You didn't sleep very well last night ... your pediatrician says we can't swaddle you anymore because you're too strong and escape from your swaddler.  You have an excellent startle reflex that wakes you up, but holding onto a monkey (in this case, "Rumple") seems to help.  You're also getting over your first cold, which makes it hard for you to breathe sometimes.  Even though you've been sick this week you've been so good--giving us big smiles and singing Christmas songs with us (You do the backup singer "oooh" and "ahhh" parts.)

Walter and Minky

So, it was a busy night but not a bad night.  You ate every two hours but didn't do much fussing.  I think you were too excited to sleep for long, knowing that Christmas was coming.  I was too excited to sleep too--very energized by our Christmas Eve services at church.  You went to the 4:30 pm service with Daddy and Grandma Sue.  Grandma got to hold you and give you a bottle while we sang "Silent Night," which was a very special bonding moment for you and her.

Christmas morning started at 6 am with some momma milk and breakfast for the grownups (cereal and the leftover cinnamon buns from your 2 month birthday celebration.  Daddy revived the stale buns by frying them up with some butter.  Daddy knows how to do Christmas right!)

You were in a great mood all morning.  You slept on the way to church, woke up and got a bottle before the service started.  You seemed to really love the sound of the cello playing Christmas hymns. Your grandpa held you and you smiled at me during the service, which gave me the courage to give my first notes-free sermon (I dressed up as Mary and talked about the Christmas story from her point of view.  It was pretty fun and I felt like I could speak about birth with some more authority this year.)

When we got home you had a nice meal and fell asleep. The grownups ate a delicious lunch of creamed shrimp over pancakes (Daddy had his pancakes with butter and syrup instead.)  After a little nap for you and me it was time to open presents.  After a little snack you woke up bright eyed, alert, happy and very interested in everything going on. We got some great pictures, including pictures of us with pictures and looking at other pictures. You are already a very well-documented baby!

For Christmas this year you got two beautiful hats (big enough for your 90th percentile giant noggin!), books from Grandma and Grandpa Edison-Swift, new outfits (at two months old you are wearing 6 month old clothes!), some great furniture for your room from the Albrights, and toys for bath time and tummy time. You are very, very good at tummy time, lifting your head up high and rocking back and forth, trying to roll over.  You're also getting very good at grabbing things and putting them in your mouth.

2 month birthday (a sweet tradition!)

After some spittin' and fussin' (not too much of either, thankfully) you are taking a lovely Christmas snooze (let's make that an annual tradition!)  What a day!  What a week!  You celebrated your 2 month birthday on Thursday and got your first vaccines on Friday.  You were very brave for your shots and stopped crying as soon as Daddy picked you up and I nursed you. Your Grandpa Paul has been with us most of the week, helping us take care of you through your cold.  You love to put your head down on Grandpa's chest, listening to his voice and his heartbeat until you fall asleep.

We are very proud of you, Scooter.  We love watching you grow and change and take more and more delight and interest in the world around you.  Here are some of the things you love to do these days:
**Smile real smiles, absolutely beaming when you're happy
**Grabbing, especially with your right hand
**Spitting up your milk (ick! But it does make you smile. You smile very big when we clean your face with a soft burp rag.)
**Lifting your legs to help us on the changing table (very helpful!)
**Lifting your arms to be burped after meals
**Intentional snuggling, not just passing out after meals.  You get all cozy with us, especially with Grandpa Paul.

Merry Christmas, Walter Paul!