First fatherly freak-out

It's a milestone! So Annie isn't the only one having white-knuckled, cold-sweat, stomach-churning reactions during this pregnancy… Last week I had a genuine, 100% honest-to-gosh panic attack over Annie's hypothetical toxic exposure to the dangerous bio-hazard K9 Advantix. An exposure, which, in my mind, occurred this way:

• Step 1. Following the instructions on the package, I applied the very small bottle of flea and tick prevention medicine to Hank's neckular and rumpular areas, below the fur.
• Step 2. I go to work, forgetting to remind Annie that I've dosed the puppy and she should wash her hands if she touches him.
• Step 3. ??? I was pretty fuzzy on this step at the time, but my best reconstruction at this moment is that Annie would, in a fit of pica and morning grogginess, lick the small oily patch below Hank's collar. As one does.

The fevered panic that gripped me would not be alleviated until I had called our vet and the medical hotline on the back of the package for reassurance. Some choice quotes:

Me, desperately trying to hold it together:“My wife is pregnant, is there any information we need to know about using your product? On our dog. We use it on our dog.”

Representative #3, much later:“You know, we don't really, like, test these things on pregnant women, right?.”

Long story short, for those who are interested and pregnant, let someone else apply the medicine, avoid contact with your puppy until the medicine has dried, and always wash your hands afterward.

Which leads to the single most important phone call my mania inspired that day – the six phone calls I made to Annie in under 2 minutes, which convinced her to pull over to the side of the highway wondering “who had died,” so I could let her know she needed to wash her hands right now! It is an awfully good thing she has me looking out for her safety.